Do it the Harrier Way
by Random-StoryKeeper
Summary: A guide of proper Harrier manners, actions and such. Want to learn things Harrier's way? Now you can!
1. Introduction

**DISCLAIMER: Besides the fact that I do not own Storm Hawks, I, the fanfiction website or Nerd Corps is not responsible for any ruined social status or public humiliation that may result as a means of following the instructions in this guide. **

**In other words, unless you want humiliation or just want to make someone's day, do these in a private room with locked doors. But if you really insist on doing it otherwise, well, that's your choice. **

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**Do it the Harrier Way**

_**By the notorious Underwaterwriter**_

**Introduction: Assuming the Harrier Position**

Do you ever recall the old saying that goes: "First the worst, second the best, third the nerd, fourth the golden bird…"? Even so, do you also remember episode 4 of Storm Hawks that the first Sky Knight was a Rex Guardian? When we look upon the Sky Knight of the Storm Hawks episode, Harrier, it makes us wonder if his snooty attitude was passed down from generation to generation.

So, what exactly does this story have to do with Harrier? How exactly will this guide show you to "do things Harrier's way"? This guide may not be an in-depth analysis of the Sky Knight's personality and actions, but more of a parody to a certain author's assumption of how to do things the "Harrier" way, done for the purpose of fun and enjoyment.

Before we begin the guide, there are some things that should be established. First and foremost, I, the author behind this fully acknowledges the concern that "Harrier may have changed over the course of the whole show/He wouldn't do that sort of thing!" In that case, I may kindly guide you to look up at the beginning of the story, with the genre section reading "Parody". In other words, this guide is not exactly realistic to Harrier's character, but as I said before, this is all just for fun.

Now that this fact has been established, let's move on to the subject of this guide: proper "Harrier/Rex Guardian" positions, ways of doing things and maybe some proper Harrier etiquette. All the actions that are taught should be assumed from a "Harrier" position, unless otherwise stated.

First of all, stand tall and spread your feet apart to shoulder width. Curve the upper part of your body from the hip back until the sight of the ground is just out of your eye's reach. To create a more interesting "curve" look, jut your butt out an inch or two. Now tilt your head upwards until the tip of your nose points directly in the air. Remember that as implied by the Rex Guardians, your nose is the most important part of your body, so stick it up high and proud.

Place one hand at the corner of your hip, evenly distributing your fingers among the spot you placed them on. The other arm of your elbow should point directly down on the ground below you. With slightly curved fingers on your free hand, tilt your palm downwards until it looks like it is parallel with the ground.

Finally, stick your elbows outwards so that they crease at sharp angles. You have now assumed the infamous Harrier position and are prepared for further instruction.

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**After a long time away from writing for the Storm Hawks archive, I have finally returned with a new fic! It's actually an idea I've held onto for months but continually forgot to write it down. I just couldn't take it anymore...so on the paper this idea went!**

**~Please review! Thank you! ~**


	2. Part 1

**Part 2**

**Meeting, Greeting and Seeing:**

In the world of the Rex Guardians, it is crucial to make the best first impression to everyone you meet that respects you. After all, many people ought to know you are a true Rex Guardian.

If the person you come upon seems to know and respect you, it is your noble duty to bow politely to that person. Tilt your head down so that it now faces the person you shall greet. Then lower your body from the waist down until you are parallel with the ground. Bring one arm across your body and extend the other behind you as you bow. Stay in the position for a brief second, then slowly bring your whole body up again and assume the Harrier position discussed in the introduction. The person, if they are a true fan, should bow back to you.

As you listen to the somebody chatter about how much they know about you, look amused and raise your eyebrows for extra effect. Stay casual and act as though you receive this kind of attention all the time.

If the person, however, does not seem to take an interest in you, you can simply scoff at their presence and turn your back to them. If you happen to know the person's name (or their squadron), accent the first syllable of it. Should their name happen to be only one syllable, stretch it to two syllables (for example, "Bob" becomes "**Bo-**ob"). Throw an insult with their name, if you can ("You must be the _**children**_ now calling themselves the **Storm** Hawks.") Since "Storm" is the first syllable of the squadron name, you put extra emphasis on the word.

Should the person get worked up because you claimed an item that simply isn't yours, unleash a weapon of your choice and hold it high in the air, striking a majestic and royal-like position. You do not necessarily need to know how to use the weapon of your choice, but make sure it looks threatening enough to give your victim a scare. Issue a challenge, should they hold a grudge. If they still object and want their item back, casually mention the "code" as an excuse.

**Outfits:**

Choosing the perfect Rex Guardian outfit is extremely important. For instance, the outfit must make you look important and well-presented. Your outfit should have some gold on it, but be sure it's not silver or else you could be disqualified from the challenges you take. If there is no gold on your clothing, fasten some gold armour to your body. You should also wear a golden belt, as this keeps your pants up as well as leaving storage for a weapon of your choice in defence.

A Rex Guardian always looks best with blond hair, as it is the closest to gold hair. If possible, dye your hair blond or streak it that lovely yellowish colour. Tie your hair in a nice, high ponytail, that is, if it is longer than your normal shoulder length. If not, buy some spiky hair gel, super glue or an anti-gravity solution that may get your short hair to stand up on its ends.

Should you have any questions about Rex Guardian apparel, consult the dress rules of the Code.

**Holding Stuff:**

All Rex Guardians have a proper way of holding items and walking. It is important when picking up an item to show it off, that you place it high above your head, extend your arm out gloriously. Your pinkie finger, of course, should stick out proudly as far out as possible. This is almost like the Harrier position, except with a long, extended arm.

When holding items, it is always important to stick out your pinkie. This makes you look fancier, and you look a lot better when you walk straight to one of your friends and hold out that special item for them to admire with you.

And now that you've mastered the art of greeting your fellow people, holding nice artefacts and what to wear, we shall hopefully move on to more Guardian…ways.


	3. Part 2: A Dining Experience

**Part 2: A Dining Experience**

As a Rex Guardian wannabe, your dining experience will be a great opportunity to show your graceful manners and preserve a loyal tradition. Treat anyone who challenges you to a Challenge as an honoured guest; this gives you an opportunity to see how your opponent acts under polite circumstances, and you can work this knowledge to your advantage.

A good way to prepare for your meal is to serve the food on a long table, similar to the way it is portrayed in the great medieval times. Cover the table with a fancy tablecloth and lavishly decorate theh table with bowls of fruit and candles atop. Finally, finish setting your table with a whole roasted chicken, duck or any other massive poultry. Surely it will catch the eyes of your fellow guests when they sit down to enjoy your wonderfully prepared meal. Keep in mind, though: no other dishes should be placed on the dining table until the honoured guests arrive.

Before it is time for dinner, prepare yourself for this meal by rebrushing your hair, washing off any misfits you discover on yourself and polishing any gold armour you happen to be wearing. Present yourself at the table by standing with the table facing your, hands held together behind your back and head held high. Be sure to recruit several individuals as servants, for you will want to set one by the door and wait for your guests to arrive. Have the servant perform "Harrier Talk" (_see Part 1 of this guide_) when announcing that your guests have arrived.

Observe your fellow dining pals, monitoring their behaviour around food. If they appear to be delightfully presentable, displaying such elegant manners, proceed to eat. If their behaviour is quite the contrary, childish or rude, proceed to eat your meal anyway, but keep a close eye on your guests every now and then. For every time you catch them doing something immature, sharply tilt your chin towards your neck and exhibit your best expression of disgust. Speak nothing of it, because hopefully, one of your guests will be polite enough to tell the others to put an end to their childish habits. After all, immatures and amateurs alike will give you an extra advantage in the Challenge you intend to hold the following day.


End file.
